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「毎日楽しいの為に」 Flawless Passion

Category Archives: Struggles In Japan

Struggles in Japan 12 – September 2017

On the 1st weekend, I went over to my friend Lettuce’s apartment. Originally, I planned to start on SAO:HR’s サクラメンツ・インベーション 3 and 蒼空の闘士 update content. However, despite the free level boost of all characters to lv.80, the difficulty of the サクラメンツ・インベーション 3 dungeons were still near impossible. So instead, I watched Lettuce play Bloodborne. //Continue Reading//

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「休息」 – Struggles in Japan 11 – August 2017

This month was a transition period. And thus, I have the entire month off as free time. For me, it was a much needed break. I spent most of it staying over at my friend Lettuce’s apartment. As such, being out of the house for most of the time combined with my neglect of the camera and blog, I only have a couple terrible photos of my desk. //Continue Reading//

「進路変更」 – Struggles in Japan 10 – July 2017

Let’s talk about this blog. To be honest, I have lost in interest in blogging. More accurately, I have I lost interest in photography, as I have always disliked writing. To me right now, time is scarce and valuable, which doesn’t go well with my inability to write within any reasonable amount of time. I want to quit blogging and already have for the most part. The monthly life and loot posts are all that is left, and still, that is too much for me to handle. My degree of neglect is to the point of never wanting to pick up my camera ever again. I have more important things to do.

However, as much reasons and excuses I give myself, stopping this blog entirely means giving up my memories during this period. That is something I cannot do. And so, everything is delayed and on hiatus while I work out a new way of approaching things.

I have started to take life easy and slow, no longer forcing myself. I have a clearer idea of what I want to do, how to accomplish them, and what I must do right now. At the same time, I realize and accept my incompetence, as well as recalling upon my life philosophies. Before anything else, I must regain myself, the person I truly am, before I can be who I want to be. It is a great feeling to immerse in my hobbies without constraints, for my true path lies within there. //Continue Reading//

「降り続く光」 – Struggles in Japan 9 – June 2017

June, half way into 2017. In this year, I have been through tough times and even despaired, but since April, various aspects of my life here started to improve. This month, I have been offered a chance overturn my current stalemate of a situation. Finally within reach is the position of remaining in Japan under a stable and enjoyable environment while building up resources for the future. A favorable living environment, a stable balance of time and money, a promising path to the future, the results of which was an especially busy month. During my free time, I enjoyed whatever I can, an attempt to reduce my stuffed backlog of things to do. On days off, I visited explored potential paths for the distant future. Things are getting better, and I must make full use of the time I can now afford.

On the 2nd – finished the second volume of Bakemonogatari. I have been reading the novels of Bakemonogatari since January and I wanted to finish the second book by the end of May. I had about a hundred pages left and sadly fell short of my goal by a couple days. //Continue Reading//

「始まらない始まり & 睡魔との闘い」 – Struggles in Japan 8 – May 2017

For a long time, I have been wanting to dash forward, to leap, and to chase after my goals and dreams in life. Last month had some rough situations but my friends and I were able to seize an incredibly rare opportunity at the last minute, and now I live in a spacious two story house with just the three of us. Finally, my living circumstances are falling into place. Perhaps now is my chance? This month was a chance indeed, however I had too much luggage for me to sprint. Too much I couldn’t let go, too much things to do, too weak to do them, too little time for all of them.

Not much on the desk. Still deciding where everything should be placed.

The first week of May was Golden Week. My second time experiencing it, and although it would be nice to use Golden Week to build a model or draw an illustration, I knew that it still wouldn’t be enough time to complete anything even if I devoted every single day to a specific project. Instead, I re-watched the first season of Gundam 00 with my friend Lettuce who watched it for his first time, finishing it over two sittings. Lettuce came over at night on Wednesday the 3rd and stayed over until Friday morning. We were able to watch up to episode 19, while introducing him the details of the model kits of the mobile suits that were showing up. We also played a little bit of Rockman.EXE where we explored the back internet area and slowly proceeded in the story, walking around 官庁街 (governmental district) and investigating the missing water incident by trying to get into the water department. Next time, I visited Lettuce’s apartment on the Sunday the 7th and finished the remaining episodes of Gundam 00 1st season. He enjoyed it and looked forward to watching the 2nd season. Also during Golden Week, I chat with chat with my brother and played a couple Gundam breaker 2 challenge missions on the 6th. //Continue Reading//

「小さな幸せの味わい」 – Struggles in Japan 7 – April 2017

This month was far from smooth sailing. The seas were rough and the storm is still ongoing. However, I am here. I found a path to survival. My situation has improved. My wish and dream of attaining a stable daily life and to live together with friends, was realized in an unexpected way. Although a small version of what I had envisioned, this small happiness alone took me 7 months to reach. A taste of what I want to achieve.

I have moved into my friend March’s place where a room had opened up. It was the house I used to be in when I first arrived in Chiba but then I moved out for a modern apartment, and now I am back. Having an entire room to myself, plus being friends with the housemates now, it is not bad. But of course, the world would not let me have it easy. Circumstances arose and this house would be closed down at the end of the month. I had only just moved back in and now in a few weeks, we all have to leave. I will enjoy my time here as much as I can. //Continue Reading//

「失敗の味」 – Struggles in Japan 6 – March 2017

Life has many ups and downs, and that is especially true for me ever since I came to Japan last year. Repeating one month after another, it has been just rough cycles of things looking hopeful then things going wrong. This month was another down, another unsuccessful effort, another moment I must endure through. April was approaching. The start of a new year for businesses and academics in Japan. It was the prime time to seize an opportunity to change my situation. But once again, outside of my control, I fell into another pitfall. Ahh… this is the taste of failure.

This failure was only a small taste of what it would be like when my time runs out. My time in Japan isn’t over; it continues. Seeing it positively, a friend told me that things have simply reverted back to the original plan of studying for a year. While nothing improved, it didn’t worsen either. …or so I would like to fool myself into thinking.

In the past 6 months, I have been through a fair share of struggles and suffering. I honestly considered the option of giving up and going home. Oh, how I miss my mom’s food. Oh, how I miss playing with my brother. Oh, how I miss not having to worry about work and money. My life back in the States was not satisfactory. I was accomplishing nothing there, so I left to pursue greater happiness. But I am accomplishing nothing here either. I am exhausted… Just exhausted…

Without a future, the promise of friends was the only hope that kept me going. My friend March wants me to move into his dorm where space opened up and my friend Lettuce is coming to Japan. There were some dim lights in this dark dark tunnel…

Nothing changed much around my desk during this dreadful month.

//Continue Reading//

「涙と悲しみと虚しさから立ち上がる力」 – Life in Japan 5 – February 2017

February was a whirlwind of emotions and feelings. Early on, something really sad happened. I cried for [redacted], over and over again. My mind begin to sink into the abyss, drifting further away from the passion I once had. What woke me up though, was Sword Art Online. Its movie, Ordinal Scale, released in theaters on the 18th. I wasn’t prepared, nor was I in the mood, for it. Still, from a friend’s encouragement, I went to watch it on release day. This entire event made me realize things I had forgotten about and showed me the strength I needed to move forward again. The reasons why I came to Japan are all around me. I must to attain the ability to reach out for them.

So, due to the events during this month, the way I spent my free time changed in two major ways. One, I stopped building gunpla. Two, I focused on games, especially SAO:HR. //Continue Reading//

「Restart:またゼロから」 – Life in Japan 4 – January 2017

January. New year. 2017.
However, for me, this January did not represent a new beginning. The situation has not changed. Injured, I am still crawling through the mud, trying to get out of this swamp. December 2016 was the end of many things. And now, I must restart from zero. Despite being in Japan for 4 months, I have not moved on from square one. Absolutely pathetic. //Continue Reading//

「転落」 – Life in Japan 3 – December 2016

I am in a labyrinth. And unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury of taking my time to find the way out. In every turn could be a dead end or a trap. And this month, I fell into a pitfall.

A lot went on during this month. Initially, it appeared that my situation was finally going to stabilize a little bit. I came across some cheap used bookshelves that were just perfect for manga. I immediately purchased one of them, carried it home, and arranged my room to what I currently feel to be a very comfortable layout. The desk shifted to the left side and the bookshelf took the desk’s former place, while the bed now lays horizontal to the desk and I can now be on the PC being wrapped in my futon to survive this cold winter. Continue Reading