For a long time, I have been wanting to dash forward, to leap, and to chase after my goals and dreams in life. Last month had some rough situations but my friends and I were able to seize an incredibly rare opportunity at the last minute, and now I live in a spacious two story house with just the three of us. Finally, my living circumstances are falling into place. Perhaps now is my chance? This month was a chance indeed, however I had too much luggage for me to sprint. Too much I couldn’t let go, too much things to do, too weak to do them, too little time for all of them.
Not much on the desk. Still deciding where everything should be placed.
The first week of May was Golden Week. My second time experiencing it, and although it would be nice to use Golden Week to build a model or draw an illustration, I knew that it still wouldn’t be enough time to complete anything even if I devoted every single day to a specific project. Instead, I re-watched the first season of Gundam 00 with my friend Lettuce who watched it for his first time, finishing it over two sittings. Lettuce came over at night on Wednesday the 3rd and stayed over until Friday morning. We were able to watch up to episode 19, while introducing him the details of the model kits of the mobile suits that were showing up. We also played a little bit of Rockman.EXE where we explored the back internet area and slowly proceeded in the story, walking around 官庁街 (governmental district) and investigating the missing water incident by trying to get into the water department. Next time, I visited Lettuce’s apartment on the Sunday the 7th and finished the remaining episodes of Gundam 00 1st season. He enjoyed it and looked forward to watching the 2nd season. Also during Golden Week, I chat with chat with my brother and played a couple Gundam breaker 2 challenge missions on the 6th.
During the second half of the month was when I finally had free time to re-engage with all of my hobbies, trying to get things done. To summarize:
Saturday the 13th – while drawing a bit, I chat with my little brother about my current situation, about my plans and goals for the future. To be honest, for what I want to do, my chance of success is abysmally low. But I must try, even if I will most likely fail, I can at least fail satisfied that I gave it my all to chase my dreams. However, first I need a large sum of money regardless and need to practice my skills in my free time until the moment arrives. As for my brother, he plans to start drawing a manga themed on a samurai story. He also said he haven’t been watching much anime, telling me that I can continue watching Fairy Tail by myself since we can’t watch it together and neither of us want to fall too behind. In Gundam breaker 2, we finished the story, which we don’t quite get and haven’t followed closely. Anyways, I unlocked 00 Qanta and Ex-S from the store. We also played 3 add-on missions, for Cherudim, Strike Noir, and Nataku.
On the 15th – in the novel Bakemonogatari, I finished reading the chapter Nadeko Snake. It was also Mother’s Day in the States, so I called mom for the first time in over half a year. She asked if I am doing well and if I am eating healthily. All I could answer was I am doing ok. Things have been far from good, but I have managed. Things have just gotten stable recently but my cheap lifestyle will have to continue. It is difficult to eat well with such a limited budget. I spent the night reading the materials I received from the SAO Cyber Security event. Sadly I couldn’t squeeze in time to play games like I had wanted to.
Starting on the 16th, I attained the habit of waking up very early in the morning (around 6 am), using the extra time to do things. This morning, I read the Confidential Discussion book that was the SAO:Ordinal Scale movie’s 8th week bonus. I also read a couple pages of SAO:OS’s official “pamphlet”, where I finished reading the interview with Kirito’s voice actor. That book will be pretty long read… Later that day, I read one chapter of the 魔王なあの子と村人A manga and continued reading Bakemonogatari, starting Tsubasa Cat’s long chapter. I played AW-SAO:MT for a while at night, fighting against Yellow Radio which was a tough battle with his confusion attacks and high damage at lv.200. I used AW characters – Black Lotus, Scarlet Rain, and Silver Crow. It would have been great to have a healer been I wanted to go with a AW only party. Winning after a few attempts, I unlocked Cyan Pile and Lime Bell.
17th morning – I woke up very early at 5:30 am, and had plenty of time to play some SAO:HR. To catch up, I watched the following character event’s: Yui and Argo’s dog raising quest, sleepy Asuna and Kirito while watching Yui sleep, mochi pounding event with Asuna, Sinon and Silica, then lastly, Philia’s fishing training with Leafa.
18th morning – I played AW-SAO:MT, training and leveling up some characters. Proceeding in the story, I unlocked the desert island where I need to search for Rain (just realized that funny pun, was that intentional?). Anyways, I switched over to completing side quests in the grass field island. In the afternoon, I resumed reading Tolove-Ru Darkness. Ahh, it has been over 5 years since I had first held the first volume in my hands. I had stopped reading in the middle of vol.10, right before the activation of Darkness. Good timing by chance apparently. I finished vol.10, realizing that I miss the ToLove-Ru ecchi goodness all these years. Continuing on, I started Nisekoi vol.3, which to be honest, this manga series still have yet to really engage me in the story. I played some AW-SAO:MT at night, still doing side quests.
19th morning, resumed reading the manga Shokugeki no Souma, starting vol.10. Wow, intense chapters (well, I did stop during an intense tournament). I have been missing out on a lot. I do not recall what I did at night. Originally, I had plans with Lettuce for him to come over to start on Gundam 00 2nd season, but it had to be delayed until tomorrow. It was actually his request to start watching the 2nd season, which made me really happy because not only was he interested and liked the series (which was one of my favorite Gundam series), but he also took the initiative to want to spend time together.
So, 20th morning – I read Shokugeki no Souma, finishing the 選抜一回戦. Next, I played a bit of SAO:HR, resuming on the newly unlocked region of Jewel Peak Lakes. This area is gorgeous and I ran around the beautiful fields, until it started raining in game and then the whole area became gloomy and dark. I wonder how this all looks like on the PS4 version. I continued until I entered a cave system. In the evening, I reviewed the first several chapters up to where I left off in the manga Accel World/Dural: Magisa Garden, as it has been such a long time ago since I last read this manga. Finally at night, Lettuce came over to watch Gundam 00 2nd season. We watched the first 4 episodes before heading to sleep and continued the next evening after work. While chatting, eating, and talking about models, we watched up to episode 13. Around 11:30 pm, we headed to bed, but instead of falling asleep right away, we talked about life and the future, our goals and chances, and other deep things while slowing drifting to sleep. Next morning, the 22nd, I chat with Lettuce, talking about what my time and purpose the last half year was for. Before having to head off, we played Rockman.EXE for 30 minutes. We were still at the water department investigating and had just dived into the network. At the end of the day, perhaps tired from staying up the past few days, I crashed into bed at 9 pm and…
The following morning the 23rd – I felt sluggish to get out of bed despite sleeping so early. Turning the situation in my favor, if I cannot get out of bed anyways, I started reading manga in bed. A strong reason why I always have my bookshelf near my bed. I continued reading Nisekoi, and I was getting bored of the series but then this one chapter came up with the characters going to an onsen. That chapter was very funny from the hilarious expressions some characters made. Naturally, I laughed and thoroughly enjoyed that chapter, something that I hope can continue for my read of the series. My little brother had bought me a new stylus pen for my tablet PC, so I could finally resume on practicing digitally illustrations, and this I drew for a bit at night. I am god awful… I have a long road ahead…
On the 24th – I finished vol.3 of Nisekoi. After three whole volumes, the manga series still doesn’t grab my full interest and I wonder if I should continue reading this series currently. At night, I continued practicing drawing and I am getting used to the stylus pen, the line work that I am tracing went pretty well in opinion. The next morning, I spent (too much) time troubleshooting the pen pressure feature to work in Photoshop. Finally got it working. In the afternoon, I finally talked to mom about my plans for the future, about how I want to go to a vocational school for specialized studies at some point in the future. She tells me to do what I want, but I feel that mom wants me to return home. I also talked to my brother and I want him to pursue being manga-ka successfully. After chatting with my family, I read manga, finished vol.10 of Shokugeki no Souma and started on vol.11, as well as started vol.11 of ToLove-Ru Darkness. In the evening, I had intended to spend some time drawing at night, but I fell asleep right after dinner and just did not wake up until the next morning, where I simply felt disappointed at myself.
After this point, perhaps my lucky streak ended or perhaps my bad luck streak started, but I became occupied by random things and lost time in addition to not recording what I have done on a daily basis. One thing I have been considering was to quit this blog. Simply put, I don’t enjoy the task of writing and it takes up too much of my valuable free time. However, the purpose of this blog nowadays is to preserve my memories, so I cannot quit as much as it would free up my time. I intended to keep the writing in this post brief but as you can see, it didn’t turn out that way. Anyways, the fragments of the end of the month:
Late night on the 26th, I started watching the 魔法科高校の劣等生 (Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei) anime. I had heard of this series before (years and years ago from my friend Ry) but haven’t been interested until a few months ago when I became aware of its movie that will be released in theaters soon. I had forgotten about it for the most part until recently when my friend handed me some flyers of the movie. Just 2-3 weeks until it shows in theaters. I watch to check out the movie, and so I need to finish watching TV anime series first. After watching 2 episodes of it, I am now very engaged and interested in the show. This became my gateway of getting back to watching anime. In addition to 魔法科高校の劣等生, I also watched the first episode of ニセコイ’s anime that morning. And wow, the anime felt so much more engaging than the manga. The colorful art and the voice actors were dazzling. Now I am lost as to if I should continue watching the anime, past where I left off in the manga, or first finish the manga.
On the 27th, a Saturday, I attended a short game programming lecture in Tokyo. It was really neat to see the office of a game studio (which had a lot of figures displayed on the desks, tapestries from Re:Zero, and for whatever reason, maid costumes hanged up on the walls), but sadly the lecture itself wasn’t particularly helpful or communicative. Afterwards, I visited Lettuce’s place in the evening to continue watching Gundam 00 2nd season together, finishing episodes 13 to 19. We had briefly played Rockman.EXE, where we returned water to the town but then a dude drank bad water and collapsed in an awkward position. When I got back home, I succeeded in sleeping early and waking up early to practice drawing until the next morning. With the pen pressure working, my results at tracing is looks good but I am still god awful when drawing from scratch. I realized that I simply cannot recall facial expressions, let alone awful posing, proportions and etc.
28th evening – I went over to the next town over to Book-Off, where I stood reading Nisekoi vol.4 and actually read through the entire volume. At vol.4, the story is starting to get complex and interesting. Now it has my curiosity seized, but I did not buy the volume. Nisekoi is a long series with 20+ volumes, so rather than purchasing one at a time, it would be cheaper to buy the entire completed set. However, I currently do not have shelf space for 20+ volumes of manga, plus the uncertainty I still feel about the series. For sure, the manga would be hard to go back to if I watched ahead in the anime. The next evening, I came back again, first to the theater to buy the advance ticket for the 魔法科高校の劣等生 movie and then browsed some books but decided against buying any for the moment.
On the 30th, I magically succeeded at waking up early. To share the details, I slept at 10:45 pm with a alarm set at 2:00 am. I definitely heard the alarm, woke up and turned it off, but only to fade back to sleep until I suddenly woke up and popped out of bed 50 minutes later at 2:50 am. I then spent the next six hours writing everything you see above. In between the six hours somewhere, I took a break to watch some 魔法科高校の劣等生, currently watched up to episode 6. Sadly, when I tried to do the same sleeping schedule the next day, I just slept straight until 6 am in the morning.
Since I graduated from university, I haven’t gone any further in life. Coming to Japan was simply stepping away from home. It was a necessary step, but I haven’t been able to take another. Money and time were finally balanced, and now, although temporary, I finally have a place I can feel at home with. The next step is to conquer myself, to get rid of my lazy self and keep on treading forward. That has proven to be difficult this month, and I know it will continue to be a battle for months or even years to come. The things I did during the last half of the month written above may look like a lot in words, but in truth, I wasted a lot of valuable time that could have been used to do even more. Not the full amount I desired, but a partially satisfactory amount of things started, finished, and resumed. I am slow, I admit. However, I am determined to keep going and pick up pace, until the word “devotion” becomes appropriate to describe how I spend my spare time. Within my fragile situation, the battle has started.
Here are the anime I watched:
- 魔法科高校の劣等生 (ep.1~6)
- ニセコイ (ep.1~2)
- 食戟のソーマ (ep.6~9)
- 鋼の錬金術師 (ep.37~49)
- ロックマン・エグゼ (ep.33~40)
And the manga I read:
- ToLoveる ダークネス (vol.10 finished, vol.11 started)
- 食戟のソーマ (vol.10 started & finished, vol.11 started)
- 魔王なあの子と村人A (vol.1)
- 戦場アニメーション (vol.1 started)
- この島には淫らで邪悪なモノが棲む (vol.3 started & finished)
- ニセコイ (vol.3 started & finished)
I focused on reading this novel:
- 化物語[下] (ch.1 なでこスネイク finished, ch.2 つばさキャット started)
Only touched these games for a little bit:
- -PSV- ソードアート・オンライン -ホロウ・リアリゼーション-
- -PSV- アクセル・ワールドVSソードアート・オンライン -千年の黄昏-
- -PSV- ガンダムブレイカー2
- -GBA- ロックマンエグゼ