Hey, today was my 23rd birthday.
I unintentionally woke up a little earlier than usual, like as if I was a kid on Christmas morning. While in bed, I checked my phone.
I glanced over to my desks, not expecting anything unusual to be there but desiring so.
I took a deep breath and sank further into my bed. I have a habit of not getting out of bed immediately upon waking up, so this is normal. I dozed off again until I actually got out of bed a little later.
I will spare myself from having to write about the entire day in detail, but most of the day was more or less like how my morning started. Hopefulness met by void.
Almost every one of my friends were offline for the entire day. I already expected not to receive any presents from them, since no one asked for my address. Still, I couldn’t help but felt sad. I used to be able to say “at least I had friends to spend time with”, but not this time.
Out of anyone, my little brother made the most effort. My brother had gotten me the HG Grimgerde from Tekketsu no Orphans… which I had just recently helped a friend build 2 weeks ago. I also care about the order in which I collect things, and the Grimgerde really should not be my 2nd model from Tekketsu. I returned to my room, tossed the present onto the table, and sulked on the bed. I contemplated about the gift, and decided that I really do not want it. The timing was simply just unfortunate. As I opened the door to exit my room to return the gift, there my brother was just standing there holding up a Megaman X poster.
“I also got you this !”
Megaman X is not my favorite Megaman series, but the poster looks pretty cool. I told him that I will take the poster in place of the model kit. He seemed more happy than I was about having a back up plan. Later, I asked if he wants to play Halo 5. I can tell that he was reluctant to, but agreed anyways since it was my birthday. We had some good rounds of Breakout.
At night, I made plans to watch a movie with my little brother. I felt that the day really would be sad if I didn’t do anything special. Right before we start, GameMaster finally came online and messaged me to play PSO2. He was apparently unaware that it was my birthday. I played a quick mission with him and then got back to my little brother. We watched One Piece: 3D2Y, 15th anniversary special. It was really really good. I can even say I like it more than any of the One Movies I have seen so far. It was great to see more of Boa Hancock and how Luffy came to acquire 覇気. Just awesome.
And that was my birthday. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t disappointed and lonely during most of the day. However, it was partially made up for at night watching One Piece and briefly playing PSO2 with GameMaster.
I took the time to look-up my previous entries on my birthdays. Here is a summary of the key points. Since this blog started in 2010, I don’t have records of anything prior.
2010 – 17th birthday – My parents bought a small birthday cake. They also helped me buy a PSP. I received two presents from friends, a MG Exia from Rafflima and a Kagamine Len keychain.
2011 – All I mentioned was just one line saying that my birthday happened. I was finishing high school at the time, so I must have been very stressed.
2012 – 19th – First time I spent my birthday in Japan. It was also the last day of the study abroad program. Although I would have liked to hang out all day long, I only went to a game center with some friends for a bit because of the program’s farewell party in the evening. My roommate also had to depart right after for his flight and I spent the rest of the night alone.
2013 – This was an awful day. I was living with selfish housemates at the time. I wanted to spend my birthday with my family, and that resulted in rushing my dinner with a friend to go home for the family dinner. Then it turns out my mom had forgotten about my birthday.
2014 – A very plain day. I stayed at my new apartment and later had dinner with my two housemate friends. No present.
2015 – 22nd – Finished university. I received presents, a number of model kits and some Yugioh cards, from Blitz-X, GameMaster, Xyrenth, and my little brother. I also had dinner with Blitz-X and GameMaster in addition to a couple other friends. Best birthday so far.
Perhaps I am spoiled by my 22nd birthday last year, when I received many gifts from friends. That was also the first time my brother had ever bought me a birthday gift. Prior to my 22nd birthday, the previous time I had received birthday presents was my 17th birthday, from some high school friends. It had always been the norm for my birthdays to be lonely and melancholic. The same could be said for Christmas. It is a tradition in my life that I want to break.
But I am not ready.
My life isn’t set up for that.