I apologize for having another completely inactive month. My life here isn’t going as well as it should and could be. I spent a good one or two weeks being depressed, and I’m still not very happy. Here’s how the situation breaks down. I constantly wanted to hang out and spend time with my friends. My friends, however, either were “busy” or they wanted to do their own thing by themselves.
My lack of friends that can and wants to hang out with me has upset, angered, and depressed me. I did talk to them about it, but the fact remains. If they are busy then they are busy. If they don’t want to then they don’t want to. I’m powerless as I cannot influence other people to do as I wish. It’s very upsetting but I’ll have to tolerant it, I’ll have to bury it deep inside.
I’m excluding a lot of details, but hopefully all this still makes sense. Hobby-wise, as you may have noticed, there has been a serious lack of updates on the blog. The usual laziness has something to do with it, but recently I realized that my time in Japan was quite “traumatizing”, for the lack of a better word.
For the past several months, I’ve been quite isolated with the anime scene. While I did watch anime on a semi-frequent basis, I really felt that I wasn’t apart of the whole thing. I felt so much like an outsider in Japan, and when I got back, I simply couldn’t afford to keep up with the hobby. Various things kept strengthening the same thing, my detachment from my hobby.
I was ready to let go. I really was. After all, I’m in university, my rent is expensive, the currency rate sucks, preorders sold out, and I’m running out of space in my house. I couldn’t keep up with the Spring and Summer seasons, and now I’m ignoring, or more accurately, avoiding this Fall season. I don’t want to see it or hear about it.
Thankfully, my life doesn’t consist of only bad things. I did visit home to hang out with a friend at my house and in Japan Town, where he watched the Madoka movie. I didn’t watch it with him, I just wandered around for 4 hours until he was done. During that time, I bought a few things, which you can see in my October Loots post. This trip to Japan Town really reminded me that I need to be in Japan, and I need to be there with a friend.
I have lived through most of this month with a heavy feeling in my chest. However, I’m now trying to reconnect myself with my hobbies. Not a great timing though, as I had to write papers after another, as well as projects and midterms to top it off. Now how am I going to find time to play Halo 4? Speaking of which, Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn was really amazing. And oh, you can find my GT in my About page.